For a good morning ritual, I opened Google AdSense. Not because I expected anything miraculous — miracles don’t live there — but out of routine, the same way you sometimes check the weather.
Although honestly, the weather is more consistent than analytics.
And there it was: a bubble scene that should’ve come with a label saying “Experimental art. Do not touch.”
1 visit — one!
A single one. As if my website were locked in a basement cabinet, behind a secret tunnel known only to Jerry the mouse.
So I open Matomo.
Then I check CPD.
Then Statcounter.
And finally the server — traffic flowing as usual. Tam-tam.
But Google?
One? Seriously?
Meanwhile, somewhere in Ireland
Analyst 1: “Sir… the user checked Matomo.”
Manager: “No… not Matomo…”
Analyst 2: “Sir… he’s opening…
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